Hey Baby, Let’s Cyber!

Old one. Nevertheless, I’m sharing it with you guys. Freaking funny shit.

sweet17: Hi

bloodninja: hello

bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!

bloodninja: This shit is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a fucking break

bloodninja: I’m serious.

sweet17: I don’t get it

bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states

sweet17: For???

bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.

bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are fucking sick.

bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you

bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

bloodninja: Hurry up.

bloodninja: Are you there?

bloodninja: fuck you, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

bloodninja: Weren’t you!?

sweet17: thats not it

bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty

bloodninja: Most cops aren’t


bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?

bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.

bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.

bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn’t you.

bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!

sweet17: You don’t look like that.

bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….

bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go fuck yourself

bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you

bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!

bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.

sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!

sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me

bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.

sweet17: No you aren’t

bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.

bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I’m done with you

bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.

sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore

bloodninja: Wait a sec

bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty

sweet17: You’ll what?

bloodninja: You heard me.

bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture

bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.

bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don’t know

bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I’m afraid to

bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?

bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to

sweet17: I didn’t say that

bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ???

bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”

bloodninja: ok?

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can’t be serious

bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.

sweet17: Har

bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.


bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

bloodninja: …still limp

bloodninja: Do it!


bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!!!

bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.


bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…

bloodninja: I kick you in the face!


bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…

bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

bloodninja: …going limp again.

bloodninja: Hello?

bloodninja: Say it!

bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

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Filed under Internet, Lulz, Random

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